Frantaglais blah-blah...

Why Frantaglais? Well, I came up with this title as my posts, from time to time, will be en français (in French), en anglais (in English), and/or en Tagalog, my mother tongue. In any case, you find my writing weak, just bear with me please or leave. This is my blog after all. No one forces you to read it.

mardi, septembre 27, 2005

L'esclave de la mode

I could hear a key being slid into the door's keyhole. Koko, with his short, spikey, heavily gelled hair emerged from the front door. He was wearing a pair of trendy denim jeans, a red sweatshirt over a white, slick, short-sleeved tee-shirt and a pair of red rubber shoes that he obviously put on to match his top. He was holding a cell phone in his left hand and wraparound sunglasses with his right; wearing his heavy, bulky backpack over both shoulders.

He just arrived from school.

I was still in bed when he left for school this morning, I had a sleepless night and was only able to doze off at around 5 a.m. so, I was half asleep when he gave me a kiss and didn't see exactly how he was dressed today.

So?

He's growing up way too fast and It is quite noticeable that he has learned to be more careful about his looks. He spends half an hour in front of the mirror every morning. And that's ok, I just find it normal. Problem is, he's also becoming obsessed with designer labels. He's definitely not a spoiled kid but he would sometimes pester me to buy him branded clothes. He has a tendency to wear nothing but branded ones, and this is what I noticed when he arrived today from school. And this is not good.


It is apparent that most kids these days are esclaves de la mode ("fashion victims" or if I'd translate it literally, "slaves of fashion") and I'm afraid that my son is in the process of being one, unfortunately. He's only in secondary school and most of his peers are the same, I can't help but notice the way they're dressed, there's even one who looks like David Beckham, with his trendy hairstyle, earrings and all.

Like any other parents, my husband and I, from time to time, love to see our children in fashionable clothes. So, every once in a while we purchase them signature ones, especially Koko, when he makes good grades in school. But to break the bank or make serious sacrifices in order to meet their capricious demands is a definite no-no. My son and I have been having a repetitive scenario at home lately: his "Please..." and my "No, you don't need it, money doesn't grow on trees, if you really want it then save up for it.".

As for the cell phone, I don't mind him having one as it lets us stay in touch with him at almost all times. He's responsible enough to have one and I need the security of knowing his whereabouts at any given time.

There are lots of things I never had as a child or things I feel I had been denied in my teen years but that doesn't mean I'd let my kids expect instant gratification for their slightest caprice or whim. No. Like most things it's just a question of balance. Although I sometimes feel guilty when I said 'no' to him, I know I just want him to grow up as a reasonable person who understands the value of money and just giving him the confidence to be proud of who he is rather than to be proud of what he has.

40 Comments:

  • At 3:52 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    I imagine how hard it is for you the get throught to him, especially if all kids around him act the same way. Wish you the best of luck and keep us posted. Who knows, later on we might need your wise advice on the matter.

     
  • At 3:40 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    oh yes kayla, heureusement, koko's not a spoiled kid and we're not one of those financially secured parents who worry a lot that their wealth could turn their children into spoiled brats, far from it, hehe. well, i just hope that this will pass fast. he knows that he's got to study hard, get a stable job and from there he can buy whatever he wants.

    btw, i visited the blog, do you think it's just ok with jade? i mean, she doesn't know me...

    ;)

     
  • At 7:15 PM, Blogger noemi said…

    hi bok! how are you? hope you're ok and si laptop na ang gamit mo sa pag post mo neto=)...anyway, it's just a phase the "branded thing", for as long as you're always there to put balance sa gusto ni kiddo and syempre yun pag guide mo sa kanya to spend and use money wisely, as your kiddo mature he/she will realize that the essence of a person is not on the label of the clothing *wink*..may sense ba ms. bok?..hehehe have a nice day! take care lagi...mwaaahhh!!!!

     
  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger noemi said…

    p.s.

    deliber ko sayo cafe latte, para ma-relax ka ;)...

     
  • At 11:18 PM, Blogger bart said…

    I grew up in a country where kids had to wear uniforms to school. In a way we were glad of that, because all the fashion nonsense was kept outside the school. From what I hear from my daughters some of the kids are caught up in a gigantic fashion competition which is all too eagerly exploited by the commercial sector...

    I think that if you can get kids to realise that things have a worth that has nothing to do with their monetary value, you'll have done well...

     
  • At 3:45 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    I think there will be no problem. She said we can invite our friends, so just say I invited you. That should do it.

     
  • At 9:53 AM, Blogger Major Tom said…

    Hi Bok. I guess the young ones are always like that, and it is a phase that I think I have gotten through also in the past, many many years ago. What I think is that a reasonable amount of vanity is just but alright, for it comples us to look better and feel better, and in the end be better persons.

     
  • At 12:25 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    hello, noemi! labs ko talaga mga dalaw mo, cheerful na cheerful ang dating. no, I haven't recovered the lptp, tomorrow siguro.

    as for my petit problem, under control naman eh, so i'm okay, thanks!

    hey, sarap ng kape mo ah, napaso nguso ko! haha!
    ;)



    Hi, bart!

    I am pro uniform. I'm all for it. I also attended schools that required uniforms.
    Since uniforms are not required in the schools here in France, kids face far more pressure to be dressed in the latest designer clothing, as though it's the determining factor to be admitted into the popular crowd. :(

    Actually, there have been arguments lately over school uniforms among students, parents and education experts. It's just that it's not decided yet whether these will be implemented or not.

    oh, how I wish, as a mother, it'll make my life a lot easier...
    ;)

     
  • At 4:08 PM, Anonymous atinna said…

    Hello mommaBoksie, musta na mamasang?
    wait until magdalaga si darling clementine, siguro mas malaki ang dilemma mo hehehe...pero by then, siguro ang fashion eh parang 'back to the future' na ang style; yung mga metallic and futuristic at parang robot na garb.

    stay cool foxyboks!

     
  • At 5:13 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    hi, kayla! thanks, i'm quite interested! i just hope that, you ladies, won't fall asleep waiting for my posts, hehe.



    hello, major tom! how're you?

    yes, I agree. my son has admitted to me that he now loves wearing designer clothes cos they make him feel "smart". not only that, he also said that his classmates used to tease him when he was wearing ordinary, inexpensive clothes. sad, eh?

    oh well, i guess the only solution is a school uniform. school is not a fashion show, they can do it elsewhere and on weekends.

     
  • At 7:02 PM, Blogger cheH said…

    Naku ang alta-presyon mo mommy boks!:) Naka!iba na talaga ang bagong generation ngayon,hindi tulad natin noong alaw pataasan lang ng bangs ayos na,hehe

    take care dear!

     
  • At 10:49 PM, Blogger Naomi said…

    gosh.. i couldn't imagine.. pano pa kaya ang mga two growing bugoys ko pala? mga lalaki pa naman.. huhu.

    keep smiling mommy yo! magiging pride mo rin si lil peanut mo someday soon..=)

    btw, you're on my recent post, sweet kisses! =)

     
  • At 10:52 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    atinna, yellow! musta na ang beauty-san? hay naku ma dear, sinabi mo pa! kya nga sabi ko kay Koko, as much as possible, wag iparirinig sa kapatid nya kaartehan nya at baka mahawa, eh, 4 years old pa lang 'no? tsk tsk...

    hehe, ok lang kung futuristic ang dating, wag lang gothic! ewan ko ba, di ko sila type! haha! and don't worry, kalmados pa naman ako, hehe.
    ;)



    "pataasan ng bangs", CheH? haha! di ko yata inabot yon! *LOL* ikaw talaga, pinag-isip mo ko ng husto, I've been asking myself, "kelan ba yon? nauso ba yon?" haha! siguro matanda na ko noon at di na nausuhan, nyehehe...

    kaw den, ingat...
    ;)

     
  • At 4:15 AM, Blogger Alina said…

    C'est normale, je crois. My post is the only one up till now, except the hello posts...On espere tes merveilleuses histoires! :)

     
  • At 6:04 AM, Anonymous Big BoK said…

    Hey..Bokbok,
    My same sentiments.. about branded stuff. Not that i donch wanna get some for my brat.. but i'm afraid.. that she might want only branded stuff in the future. Plus i really, really want her not to be a spoilt brat..since she is already a brat..!

     
  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    hi, naoms! ok lang siguro sa mga bugoys mo, hiraman sila, o di ba? hehe

    keep smiling mommy yo! magiging pride mo rin si lil peanut mo someday soon.
    thank you, naoms. sana nga magdilang anghel ka. medyo mataas kasi ang dream ni Koko, he wants to be a pilot someday and he's doing excellent at school, he's the top of the class! (sensya na, yabang no? no, i'm just a proud mommy and you know how it feels).

    ma dear, salamat ulit sa special mention ha? so sweet, really.
    labs ya! kisses!
    ;)

     
  • At 5:13 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    thanks, kayla!

    ah oui, j'ai constaté que ça commence bien! ^-^ ok, on se voit là bas?



    BigBok, hellllooo!

    Don't worry, I think it's just ok to buy Chloe branded stuff every once in a while (quality is what i'm after, I spend on something which gives good function). Actually, the problem starts at school esp. in secondary, some of the kids are craving for this "individuality" thing, expressing themselves, in the meaning of "who has the coolest or expensive clothes" rather than expressing what they can achieve using their head. Fortunately, my son is an "isolated case".

    ;)

     
  • At 7:12 PM, Blogger noemi said…

    Hope you had a great weekend ahead bokbok...deliber ko lang po kapeng barako para sa iyo, pwede din i-share kay hubby kung gusto mo *wink*...ahihihi
    dahan-dahan sa pag higop at mainit iyan, baka mapaso na naman nguso mo..ahahaha *biggrin*
    take care always, oki doki!..mwaah!!!

     
  • At 12:33 PM, Anonymous Jen said…

    Hey, Bok! Don't worry about it! My daughter is now 20 years old and I had the same problem before. It's just temporary. She now has a job and she suddenly realized the value of money. Now, she, as much as possible, lay away money every payday. She even already thinks of buying an apartment. See? :)

    Have a happy weekend!

     
  • At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Anonyme said…

    Look I have a 10-year old daughter whom I adore. She's my life! I know that me and my wife are spoiling her and we're happy to do so. She's our only child and no one will ever dictate what we can or can't do for her. We can afford to give her what she wants and we go on giving her what she wants! And this is not a sin!

    The real sin is to bring a child into this world when you know you can't provide for them!

     
  • At 7:06 PM, Blogger Analyse said…

    crise d'ado? hmmm, i like your insight in this matter, mommy na mommy ang dating..i know what you mean, i pass by a college everyday, and what have you, papormahan nga, and i even see a lot who are smoking at their age! wow!

    hopefully, it's just temporary, mahal pa naman dito. i was into branded clothes din when i was in pinas, but because i was after the quality, ya know, we have no uniform sa mapua, so i have to get clothes which could stand 1000x et + in the washing machine hehe..pagdating ko dito, ngek, mahal naman, o sya, H&M na nga lang hahaha..

    have a cool weekend! already on leave starting this evening, shalap, i could rest na as long as i want..bébé pese 2.5kg déjà, mon gynéco préconise 4kg à terme, et elle est déjà en position pour sortir...hope she'll take her time, i could still wait hehe...

    bises!

     
  • At 11:55 PM, Blogger ting-aling said…

    Bok, are we blood related by any chance? Your words are excatly the same words I give to my kids whenever they plead for something. "Money does not grow on trees and If you want something, save for it". OMG, If my kids will chance upon this, they'll definitely say, "Oh, Mom, is your statement a Filipino thing?".

     
  • At 11:57 PM, Blogger cheH said…

    boks dear,

    gusto kita i email but ala fala akong email addy mo ngeeeeeks

    drop me a line when you are not really bwizi,k dear? (no rush) so I can email you back
    my email addy:cheh1@gmx.de

    have a nice weekend!

     
  • At 3:33 PM, Blogger Me said…

    This fashion craze seems to be the problem with young teens everywhere in the world... it's almost the same here in Egypt...maybe to a lesser extent and it also depends on the teenager's family's social & economic standard... but it really bugs me... I remember when we were kids (do I sound old at 26 ?!?!).. we had a sense of responsibility ... I mean with regards to how we were spending our parents money.... but then again... I guess we didn't have all this consumerism atmosphere around at our time ...here I go... sound old again :-D ...I think you're doing the right thing ... putting limits... God help you !!!

     
  • At 5:16 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    Salamat, Noems! shet, ang sarap naman, steaming hot! Walang donut? nyehehehe...

    You too dear, enjoy your weekend, take care and stay happy!
    ;)



    Hi, Jen! Thanks, I know that my son's just going through the "teenage phase", so, I'm not really that worried. ;)

    You too, bon weekend!
    ;)



    Anonymous,

    Nobody says it's a sin to spoil a child, you just have to assume the consequences!

    We can provide our children what they NEED, of course. But we can't just give them everything they WANT. There's a big difference between "need" and "want". The children need clothing, food and shelter and these things, parents should provide for them. Giving them gifts during christmas or on their birthdays is a plus, that's if the parents can afford. And as to my case, giving them WHATEVER they want is out of the question and I certainly won't give in to tantrums!

    Parents have a responsibility to bring up their children in a disciplined manner. But if the parents behave and reason like children, they shouldn't be surprised if their children turn out to be spoiled, brattish and utterly selfish individuals.

    Children need to learn boundaries from an early age, disciplined children of today are the disciplined adults of tomorrow.



    Hi, Ana!
    haha! Sinabi mo pa! my son brought home yesterday the photo de classe, parang may defiler de mode, everyone in the picture's wearing the latest trends!
    Buti ka pa nga, me H&M, ako nga hanggang La Halles na lang, hehe.

    Musta na ang future maman? So, you're already on maternity leave, great! just gotta take it easy till the jour j. Don't worry kaya mo yan, Cléms weighed 4 kgs. too, and nakaya ko so mag-practise ka ng umiri, haha!

    Take care and bon courage!

    bisous!!!

     
  • At 6:22 PM, Blogger Analyse said…

    aw, ganun, so im not alone..im already practicing that inhale, stop, exhale thing!

    hey, when it's clems' time, di lang sa vetements, me kasama pang make up yan!

     
  • At 2:10 AM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    hello, ting, hehe palagay ko nga! Pero one thing is sure, we're just both reasonable parents trying to raise responsible, reasonable kids. palagay mo?
    ;)



    hi, ma CheH! musta? sensya na, hirap mag-online at the moment, clems' not feeling well. so, late na response ko. ok, i'll email you, pero ma dear, ang email addy ko nasa profile ko, check mo na rin...ha? thanks! ^-^

    you too, err... happy sunday!
    ;)



    hi there, Me!

    yeah, I agree. A generation ago, children got the `feel of money' only when they started earning it. Kids nowadays demand too much (well, partly because they're being brainwashed by tv and media advertising with these latest trends) and unfortunately some parents don't have the backbone to say 'no' and just succumb to their kids' demands and splurge.

    and no, you don't sound old at 26, hehe, you're just being reasonable my dear.

    thanks, Me and God bless you! ;)



    ma chere, ana, ganon na nga, hehe. basta when the time comes na the sage-femme tells you to push, sige lang basta ingat lang na wag sa wetpu iire otherwise almora... ang aabutin mo gaya ko, berk! haha! no, really, i'm serious.
    cléms' time, no doubt, idagdag mo pa ang perfume! ^-^

     
  • At 10:46 AM, Anonymous thess said…

    you're a good mom, dear.

    unfortunately, you're not alone in this dilemma, lots and lots of parents I know are on the same boat....so please let me give you a hug *hug*

    i guess that's how they deal with peer pressure, join 'em bunch or be an outcast, of course the first one is desirable than the latter

    let's hope this stage (koko's) will pass, soon ;)

     
  • At 2:02 PM, Blogger cheH said…

    ohh poor clems hugses from here:)

    mami boks will email ya one of these days pramis

    tc dear! besosos

     
  • At 3:59 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    thanks, thess my dear. hmmmm...*calin, gros calin*...hmmm

    oo nga, the problem is he feels out of place "daw" (ewan ko ha?) when he's wearing clothes I bought from the "supermarket" (yun bang tipong tatak-buhin daw) , haha! sarap pingutin!

    pero I don't worry that much, bait naman yung baby kong yon eh!, lilipas din yan! ^-^

    shocks! he'll be turning 15 this month, ano na naman kaya hihilingin nito? hehe

    kisses,
    boks





    thanks, Cheh... Like thess, ka-sweet! *big hug*

    I'll wait for your email dear. wag mo ng patagalin ha? ^-^

    you too, ingat!
    besos din sa yo und sebastian,
    boks

     
  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Bon soir, Boks! Comment ca va? Tres bien, j'espere! :)Moi j'ai commence la nouvelle universite. Beaucoup de festivites pour cet evenement la!

     
  • At 10:17 PM, Blogger Analyse said…

    hey, did you get that péridural thing?

    yep, already on leave, but my calendar is full of appointments here and there..can't believe pregnancy could take me full time..i'm still waiting for the sun to shine here in dijon so i could start washing my bébé's clothes...and la valise, i have to start preparing it too...hmm...

     
  • At 11:45 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    salut kayla, ça va? moi, je vais bien sauf que je souffre en ce moment avec ma maudite migraine. ça fait déjà quelques jours que je n'arrive pas faire tous ce que j'ai envie de faire (surtout d'être en ligne). mais bon, apart ça, ça va.

    et toi? t'es trop occupée! t'as toujours la 'pêche' (en pleine forme) pour tous ce que tu fais, eh? c'est super! et quel genre de festivités?

    à plus tard! ;)




    ana, hello!

    peridural? oo, I asked for it when I gave birth to Cléms.

    Ok, noong kay Koko, walang peridural (you know recently lang naman yang "painless" sa 'pinas) so I had no choice but to scream like a pig. Although I had a quick and easy birth - only 40 minutes after my arrival at the hospital, I really felt the pain. So I guess, very rare na ngayon ang hindi nagre-request ng peridural. So if I were you, I'll ask for it, sarap ang feeling, push ka lang without feeling the pain.

    Ana, since your gyneco told you that your child will be 4 kgs. at birth, you better put sleepers (for 1 month old) in your valise. Cléms didn't use the ones (for newborns) we brought to the hospital, they were too small for her.

    ;)

     
  • At 9:18 AM, Anonymous thess said…

    so he's turning 15 na pala...ehem, mas magpapa fowgeeh na sya! he he

    but i beleieve that he's mabait, clem as well...mabait ang nanat at tatay eh. i agree sa reply mo kay mr. anon. need and want are 2 totally different things..
    oh well, who am i to preach, si charlie nga hari sa bahay namin eh! *lol* smile na lang tayo, odivah ^_^

     
  • At 4:02 PM, Blogger Alina said…

    Je suis desolee pour ta migraine. I hope you'll get well soon! As for the festivities, I have a long post about them :). I actually went to some classes today and it was ok. As for having a good mood for the stuffs I'm supposed to do, it's because K takes such good care of me. After two days with school in the morning and work untill 9 PM, I was spoiled with dinner cooked and served by him :). I am still wondering what I did to deserve him

     
  • At 4:33 PM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    ganon na nga lang ma chere thess, smile! ^-^

    unfortunately, may ganoong parents (you know, anon...), no wonder we have a society of horrible brats, children were brought up having everything they asked for.

    king charlie, eh? hehe, bagay. ;)
    yung mga babies ko naman e, really, wala akong marereklamo, mababait sila; makukulit lang hehe.

    thanks, thess.
    ;)




    kayla, coucou!

    je vais mieux, merci! j'ai été voir ton post concernant les festivités et tout, chouette! ^-^

    heureusement, K est là. what you did to deserve him? oh, he might be asking the same question you know. mais c'est simplement parce que il y a l'amour entre vous, c'est tout. et rien n'est plus beau que ça...

    ;)

     
  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger Analyse said…

    luckily, i just bought 1 dors-bien with the naissance size, the rests of them are either 1 mo or 3 mos. everybody in my entourage tells me now to buy 6 mos size, puro asar hehe..ohlala, je marche comme un canard maintenant et péte comme une vache..and enjoying it hahaha..

     
  • At 1:33 AM, Blogger Bokbok said…

    ma chere ana, helllloooo!!! buti na nga lang at isa lang ang binili mo, otherwise masasayang sila.

    hey, tu pète comme une vache, eh? attention, à chaque fois tu fais ça, il y a le trou de la couche d’ozone qui s’agrandit, haha! ^-^

    ingat ma dear,
    boks

     
  • At 2:30 PM, Anonymous sachiko said…

    boks..i've been looking for you..where are you and how are you now? heard that your hubs was here some months back...take care!

     
  • At 2:27 PM, Anonymous boks said…

    am here ma dear sach... am touched... thanks.

    :)

     

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